Alien Toes

DID YOU DO IT? DID YOU?
Because today is the last NaBloPoMo day!
Did you know people NaBloPoMo every month? Yeah!
Check it out.



We had an exciting travel adventure last month. We left just before Halloween. In anticipation of this mini vacation I painted my toes. Wanna see?

Sure, I'd love to show you.

I started with orange polish. A couple of coats were necessary. I know I'm a little sloppy laying down the coats but it cleans up easy enough so I don't worry about perfection at this stage. Also I must mention that in order to create my masterpieces I must bend myself into Yoga Master positions with a not so bendy body



Put your right foot in



Next using acrylic craft paint I painted a green diagonal stripe. Using a striper brush I paint a black line diagonally across the toes.

Big toes has large blob of black paint. Still not sure about this part of the design yet.





Put your left foot in




Using a dotting tool I dot the toes with black paint. I stripe black lines across the big toe.

Are those wrinkles? On my toes?!





Put your right foot out

More black dots and a few white dots. Not dirt on those tuddies, black paint.

Big toe has 1/2 an Alien head. Not totally happy with the design. I had a full head design and didn't like that at all, took it off.








I liked it better as time when on.

Can you take a minute for our survey?

One more day. Can't you wait?







My bank has just changed hands. The move has been nice, practically pain free. I'm hearing some complaints and there are a few customer service issues that still need to be addressed. They've kept the same staff of familiar and ever helpful people.

While trying to access my account I discovered a glitch in the passwords. It seems they changed my password without notifying me so I needed to call customer service. I waited a while but finally help came. They were very helpful, staying with me until I was finished and introducing me to some new services that I've tried and like very much.

Several hours go by and I get a call. It's my bank asking me if I could take a 4-5 minute survey about my call. I told the gal that I really didn't have time right now for a survey but I was very happy about the service and help I received. She cut me off saying sharply, UNFORTUNATLY I'm not able to do that. I was so annoyed I hung up without saying good-by.

My Bank customer service. . . Awesome!
Phone Survey people. . .Not so Much!

Spiders

Two more days and I'm takin a break.

maybe




It is that time of year when all good fall decorations must be put away and all happy Christmas decorations are prized from their place in the garage and dragged into the house.

Along with unwanted arachnids.


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In my house! In my living room! In my Christmas things!

You get the raid I'm going back to bed.

Post Secrets

Day 27! You still with me? Keep going we're almost there.

This Post Secret was so precious!

Growing up we lived near one of those day old bakeries. My brother and I ate a lot of these. And Snowballs. And Suzi Q's. I remember thinking how pretty this was and how my name will look just like this when I learn cursive. For many years my name looked very much like this. Very loopy.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ! ! ! !

Garden Porn. . .

Not to be confused with midget porn or anime porn

My passion flower

getting ready to open up

almost there

LOOK!

Looks a little like an alien

or something

Bells from the garden

they matured so late and were so small that I decieded not to eat them.

Pretty color right!!

lip

Less than a week to go. Hang in there.

Why does all of my lipsticks look like this after awhile?

Yes I tend to wear the same color or variations of the same color, pretty much all year.

Urban dictionery

Are you ready for T-day?

Me neither.


August 13: sloth-cloth

An old tee-shirt you wear while hanging around the house.

The word is hard to say many times quickly.

The great man came to the door wearing baggy boxer shorts and a food-stained sloth-cloth.

This is me, this week, I'd love to wear my sloth clothes every day till Thursday!

the wanderer kitteh

I miss SNL the Wanderer.

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canning

Arn't you just a little sad you didn't NaBloPoMo?

Just a little?




Every year I try to can something. I love to can. For years I had this plum tree that gave me more fruit than me, my neighbors and all my friends could eat. I canned for days and days. And days.

Now I don't can so much. I missed it. A few years ago I ran across some Habanero jelly at the Balloon and Wine festival. It was delish and I decided to give it a try. It's become so popular that I now find myself making it every year. Last year it made it's way to Korea! And will again. (I haven't sent it yet AM, hopefully before Christmas)

I wait until the bell peppers are plentiful and cheep. Usually I get them at the farmers market but this year I wasn't able to get down there. I found them at the 99 store! 3 bells for .99! How can you beat that?

So I get all my supplies ready.

Peppers, check. Habs, check. Cutting board, sharp knife, GLOVES! Check.

Canning jars, check.
Vinegar, sugar, pectin, check.

Large pot for sterilizing jars, hot jar tongs, funnel and little magnetic lid grabber thingy, check, check and check.


Heavy enamel pot for cooking jam, ginormous pot for processing jars, check.

Clean kitchen? ooops!

Cannot start such a ginourmous project with a mess like this. I clean it up quickly.

Coarsly cut peppers and throw them in the processor. Not too long, just chunk them up a little. I wonder if the pepper heat will infuse the processor as it has with the cutting board.

Cooking pot with peppers and pectin. It may not look like it but this stuff is lethal! You cannot breathe the steam or look over the pot while cooking.


When done cooking, strain the solids out. I hate tossing this stuff as I'm quite sure I could do SOMETHING with it. Until I figure out what, out it goes. The wooden spoon will now be hot as blazes.

I used red peppers this year and the color was not as red as I would have liked. I perked it up with a touch of food color.

Pour into jars and water process for 5 min.

Beautiful! Yes?

Like my new apron? Just had it made for me, for National Apple Month.

Again with the spiders

I've run out of ways to nag you.

It's been 19 days so I guess you're not gonna do it.

Or are you?

Let me know!!!



Ok, here's the story. I hate spiders! Yes I know you find that surprising but I do in fact hate spiders. Terrified would be a better word. Unreasonably phobic. I can't watch them on tv and I'm quite sure I'd become permanently catatonic should I ever find myself in the Indiana Jones temple with all the spiders, remember that? Not just spiders but ginormous tarantulas! AND THEY ARE CRAWLING ALL OVER HIM?

I'm gonna be sick.

I'm quite sure it's in my DNA because I've passed this lovely phobia on to each of my sons.

You're welcome boys, I love you!

So there's been this spider in the garage. Not just any spider, no, it's a Black Widow. Affectionately called The Bitch in our house. And she's huge. And she's in the corner of the garage, all over some stuff that we never use but wont throw out because it's good stuff and we may need it some day.

Like Ddunkie's fishing tackle.

So one day, make that one night, he's getting his stuff together for an early morning fishing trip. He's gotta go into the corner, THAT corner, and face The Bitch!

This is gonna be good so I gotta go out there and watch. Should have filmed it because it was hilarious. We see her, she's out, that's good. He gets the blow torch. Yes, blow torch, it's an awesome way to deal with all manner of creepy crawlies. We stumble around trying to find a way to light it and then finally we are ready. To torch The Bitch!

He gets close and then. . . POOF! He torches the web and The Bitch goes a runnin. #%*@!! Under and over stuff in the garage where we can no longer see her. This is not good as he needs to get his stuff out of the corner there and you just know she's there, waiting, waiting for an opportune moment to crawl up his leg.

I stay far enough away that I'll see her if she heads my way. Ddunkie on the other hand must still get his stuff out of that corner. That corner, covered in sticky Widow Webs, where The Bitch continues to hide. Waiting.

The atmosphere is thick with fear. His and mine. But Ddunkie bravely tackles the corner, torching the webs that are covering his gear. He hands me each fishing pole as it is freed from the webs. At one point he screams, flies backwards and falls on his butt. It's not a web but a stray fishing line that grabs him and some gear. Toppling him and more gear out onto the driveway.

But there's more gear to rescue. Tucked into the darkest part of the garage. Where the webs are thick and The Bitch could still be hiding. He puts me in charge of the flashlight which is a huge mistake, I'm no good with the whole holding of the flashlight thing, especially when I'm trying to find a spider. And not just any spider. A huge Bitch of a spider. Unable to help myself, I take a fishing pole and gently run it up his pant leg. I'm quite sure he peed himself just a little and I'm told to be good or he's gonna make me go in the house.

We, we as in him, finally manage to release his fishing gear from the sticky webs of death and he slowly begins to look through the stuff. 'Don't move!' I say, sending him into a squealing panic. 'WHAT WHAT WHERE IS SHE?' he yells, dancing just a little. 'No, not her, look'

Spider eggs all over and inside his tackle box. The trusty torch comes to the rescue and his gear is saved! Hooray!!

But The Bitch? She is still in THERE. Hiding. In the garage. Waiting. We all know it. It's just a matter of time before she surfaces again.

A few days later the gear must be put back into the dark, forgotten but now de-webbed corner of the garage. MUST. 'I'll help' I say. Ddunkie is unsure. I'm really not much help but the entertainment value? Priceless! We go in holding miscellaneous fishing gear and press the button to open the door. Ddunkie is heading for the corner as the door goes up and I yell 'STOP!' His nerves strung tight, knowing what it could mean and he begins to scream. Gear is dropped and Ddunkie is flailing about the garage. I point up to the garage door, still slowly moving up, with The Bitch. In the door. Moving up. She is now right above our heads. Well, his head. NICE!

Quick! Grab the torch!

I do. We've prepared for this moment and the torch is within arms reach along with a lighter to get it going in a hurry. Torch lit he carefully goes over to where The Bitch is smugly hanging in the garage door. She doesn't move. 'Yanno, if you don't get her quickly she's gonna drop right on you.' Ddunkie says he know THAT. Yet he still gets his tall frame right under her and pops the torch in her direction. 'FLOOP' the fire releases her from her web of comfort and she falls at a direct angle to Ddunkies feet. He screams, I scream, we all scream for ice cream. We spend the next hour (maybe longer) searching his hair, shirt and pants for any sign of The Bitch. She once again has escaped a fiery death.

I know she's pissed.

I know she's coming after me.

And Ddunkie.

Two days later, what do we see? You guessed it! The Bitch, oh The Bitch, yes The Bitch is back. This time she is sunning herself on a rather large box right smack dab in the middle of the garage. Right there! In the open!

Taunting us.

I'll go get BH, I say. No, he says, I'll do it, I'm gonna face my fears.

He's so brave. He grabs the nearest, longest item he can find and smashes her dead.

I've never been so proud.

My little dragon slayer.

Until he wipes her up with a towel and chases me all over the garage with it.

The end.

Fucking Austria

I know you can do it. Are you doing it?




A TMIT for your NaBloPoMo Thursday.

In the dark about this whole TMIT thing? Stroll on over to Liv it's pad.

Once upon a time in a land faraway was a man that established a little village in Austria just a few scant miles from the German border. Villages were often named after the most prominent family and this village was no exception.
The mans name? Fuck. Ing was added after the name much like we add town to the end of a name and there after since the year 1070 the village was called Fucking. Fucking Austia.

Today the village is well kept and quaint as you'd expect from any Austrian village. The biggest crime in this hamlet, population 107, is theft.
Tourists travel from all over the world to this tiny town for one thing and one thing only. The street signs. Measures were taken recently to make the signs more theft proof.

Bitte nicht so schnell!!

TRANSLATION: Please not so fast!

And they wonder why people keep taking their signs.

A vote was taken recently on whether to rename the town or keep it as it is. Unanimously they voted to keep it.

"After all, Fucking has existed for 800 years"

The town that is. I'm quite sure the other has been around a tad longer.

Urban Dictionary Joke Insurance

It's not so hard, having to find something to post, every day. It's having to find something interesting to post every day.

yeah, I know.

I get these every day.

I think they keep me cool, hip and groovy.

September 1: Joke Insurance

When two mates have a mutual understanding to laugh at each others jokes, no matter how lame or awkward said joke is, therefore lessening the social failure of the bad joke.

I was talking to some girls the other day when I cracked a 'your mother' joke. Luckily, I had joke insurance with Chris so I still ended up getting both their numbers. All Chris got was a weird look for his over-the-top laugh.

Conehead kitteh

Half way there! Have you even STARTED yet!?!?

I miss the old Saturday Night Live

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