Commit to Quit. Day 1

I did buy the patch a few days back. Found it at Wally World at a reasonable price. Look what it has.
A cd! Whoo hoo! It also came with a little booklet that gives you tips and tells you if you are ready to quit. Tells you. Yes it does. I know I'm not 100% ready to quit. I really enjoy my habit. However it is bad for me and I have decided I AM going to quit and now is the time. I read the book but I don't really want to hear the cd. No, I don't.

Yesterday was suppose to be my first day but I woke up with a UTI. (TMI I know but there you have it.) I felt pretty bad and didn't want to compound my problems with stress from not smoking. I went to the doctor then went home to bed. Dear BH picked up my meds and I went back to sleep. I slept darn near all day. I ate little and didn't smoke much. I am completely out of cigs. Completely. I know. I checked everywhere. So today is a great day to quit, or buy another pack.

I chose quit.

I feel terrible.

I put my patch on this morning. And may I add that they are ugly. This is funny because I am not a fashion plate or anything. I rarely buy new clothes unless I have to. And when I do, say need new tanks tops or shorts or something I will find one that fits me like I like and buy 1/2 a dozen in different colors.

I digress. Forgive me but I feel horrible and cranky. I also have a headache and want desperately to go back to bed.

So the patch is ugly. And on this 20th day of oppressive heat and excessive humidity I am finding it diffecult to hide the thing on my upper body. I am wearing as little as is modestly possible and the patch must be worn on the upper body. I do not want to anounce to the world or anyone else that I am wearing a patch. Many people that know me don't even know I smoke. Maybe they do and are being polite. That could be. Doesn't matter. I don't want the ugly thing showing.

I also bought a pack of nic gum. I don't know why. I thought maybe I would prefer one over the other. Whatever. Maybe If I run out of places to hide the ugly thing I will chew instead.

I have to say that it is 10:30 right now and I'd have smoked, well I won't tell you how much I'd have smoked. I will say that I smoked less than a pack a day. Not much less but less. I do not crave a cigarette. At all. Of course that may have something to do with how crummy I feel and that I would like to throw up. (TMI?)

So now you know that I have a UTI, I feel awful, and I have quit smoking. I am also walking around with 10 extra pounds. This is not really a lot except I tend to wear my clothes tight and now my jeans will zip up but they are uncomfortable. The minute I sit down in my office, I unzip. The minute I get home, I unzip. BH finds this amusing. He took a picture of my condition.
I know that trying to lose weight and quitting smoking should not be done in the same time frame. I know this is not a good idea and doomed for some kind of failure. I do have to watch it or I'll be wearing the same fat dress for months. I hate clothes shopping so I'll work on the weight thing as well.

I don't really have a plan for this.