Travel tips

If you insist on bringing not one but two bottles of perfume please know. . . .

*Calvin Klein Eternity smells beautiful and Victoria Secret Garden Pear Glace is yummy enough to eat, mixed together they smell ghastly
*The liquid does not have to touch the pill organizer to make the pills inside of them taste like perfume. Make that a nasty combination of perfume.
*The plastic pill organizer will have to be destroyed because you can never again put pills in there.
*You will need to wash any clean undies you packed because wearing them will make you smell like an Italian whore. (a French whore would know not to mix her perfumes)
*Perfume will act very much like bleach on your purple bathing suit and the color WILL be transfered on to other articles of clothing.
*It will replace the stink of your own feet with the stink of combined perfume on EVERY shoe you packed.
*Your family will complain loudly while you try to air out your suitcase.

Good things to know while in your hotel room

*Remember to check the batteries in the flash lite you keep in your travel bag BEFORE you leave for your trip.
*Your phone will work much like flashlite
*As long as you can find it
*And don't forget its plugged in.