I'm Hungry

I'm HUNGRY!!
And there is nothing to eat in the fridge.
I don't eat cereal very often and that is BH's disgusting mix. He takes Raisin Bran, Corn Flakes, Granola, Grape Nuts, unfrosted Mini Wheats and, I forget, then mixes them all up. While I would eat all of those cereals by themselves, when mixed, is disgusting.
Orange juice, I don't drink it much either. Even if I did, it just wouldn't scratch that itch. Coffee Mate? Well there is only one thing you can do with that, right?
2nd shelf: EGGS!
I love eggs but in order to get them to the point where I can eat them means I would have to take out a pan, cook them in some fantastic way, and that is just not going to happen right now. I would eat a hard boiled egg. If I had any in the fridge.
Filo, left over from my Easter Bastilla, keeping the eggs company. I know I should make something with it. I probably wont. I'll throw it out after it gets mouldy.
I always keep the eggs on the 2nd shelf. If they ever manage to make it to another shelf I get all OCD and will move the entire contents of the fridge to bring it back to 'normal'.
Soup stock in the back with pepperocini's, preserved lemon and left overs. Also an opened and abandoned pop. I'm sure it's flat but it's not mine. I'll throw it out in a couple of days.
A leftover salad.
It's been there a couple of days and is showing it's age. No one will touch it now so I'll throw it out. Also a ginourmous jug of mayo. I lurve mayo with all my heart heart heart. Still, that love will never cause me to spoon the stuff straight into my mouth. ew! Did your stomach churn there, just a little? Mine did!

Maybe there's something in the drawers:

No, nothing in produce! A bag of lemons, some parsley and cilantro. All good things. Just not by themselves. I love to have parsley and cilantro in the fridge. I carefully pick the best bunch from produce, at home I get it all cleaned up, dried, wrapped in a baggie with a paper towl. Then I forget about it until it gets slimy and brown and I throw it out. I'm sure that this will be the fate for this bag as well.

A bag of homemade Bisquick, handy for whipping up cheddar jalapeno rolls, an impossible pie or even a stack of panycakes. Too much work, although pancakes sound good. I have real butter and real pure maple syrup! Some shredded cheddar. I could fry up a crispy cheese. Shirataki noodles. I bought a ton of them last time I was at Henry's. I don't get to Henry's often and they are the only store I know that carries them. Shirataki noodles are a low carbers good friend. I use them for spaghetti or anything that I would use noodles or rice. Not today. They require minimal preparation but more than I am willing to do at the moment.
More shirataki noodles, some bacon and a little clump of Tillamook aged cheddar. It really wouldn't be much trouble to slice up a bit of that cheese. It's really good cheese. I really like that cheese. That bacon is from Canada and maple flavored. I could pour some spaghetti sauce over those noodles.

*sigh*

The door always has condiments. There's never anything to eat in the door.

I am now a teenage boy.