- I have lots of really wonderful posts to post but you'll get this today.
- I'm eating a dog meat burrito and having a Pacifico. At Work! Because I can if I want to!
- And the boss is gone.
- Relax. . . . It's only one and I wont get drunk, besides, I will have turned that beer into water long before I have to drive home.
- And it's not raining!
- The Ptomaine Palace where dog meat reigns has a new salsa, roasted, spicy and quite nice.
- I've written my nephew a long long, very long letter, promising to send him pictures of a boat.
- I'm cooking. Not now. At home. Three Julia Child recipe in 2 days. Good stuff but a little more involved than I'd like.
- I just noticed a bleach spot on my favorite sweater. It's not too noticeable, I don't think.
- I want this
- It's not raining!
- Super bowl party? Maybe. That's up to the man. I'll make a ginormous pot of chili and tuck myself away to do my taxes. The beer's in the fridge, pot of chili with cornbread, they'll never miss me.
- The Gnomes? You just will not believe what they are up to now. You wont! I know I keep saying things like this, but they just keep topping themselves. And I don't even know where to start. Most of it doesn't make much sense anyway.
- I think he has lost his mind!
- For reals.
- And it's not raining!
Showing posts with label gnomes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gnomes. Show all posts
Friday, January 29, 2010
Bullet Friday
Monday, January 04, 2010
And again with the Gnomes
The Gnomes! The Gnomes!
One day I'm just gonna snap.
Background: The Gnomes are BH's son, DIL and three grandkids. The oldest grandaughter is 19, lives on her own and we rarely see her. Sadly I forget all about her most times. The two littler ones are boy gnome (9) and girl gnome (8) I think. Mother gnome is obnoxiously late for everything. Like an hour or two late. Like everyone's gone and we're all cleaned up and sometimes in bed late. Papa gnome has a list of irritants as well. To ridicules to list at the moment.
Every year we do Christmas Eve here at the house. I always go to my folks Christmas day so I have dinner the night before and the grandkids can come and open their gifts and play with their cousins and all the big people can get together and chat for awhile.
Last year was an early dinner giving us plenty of time to be together. Five minutes before the appointed time they give us a call and let us know they're leaving now and they'll be visiting his mom before they come. Yes before. The gnomes and his mother both live about an hour, hour and a half away. So they will be here an hour plus whatever visiting time they do late. I pitched a fit. Just a little fit. With much cursing and just a little yelling which prompted BH to call the son and tell him to get his ass here prompto. They did and were only 2 hours late.
The year before? They came around 10 oclock after I'd already gone to bed.
This year. They don't show at all.
Blessing or curse?
Well I'd prepared dinner for 4 extra people. And extra cause you know everyone will want seconds etc. I decided on taco's for Christmas eve. Not festive but easy. Heat up the meat and beans, toppings on the table, buffet style, no muss, no fuss. I'd made 7 lbs of taco meat.
While frying up shells as guests are arriving BH calls papa gnome to see if they are on their way. No they are not. They're just too tired and have decided to stay home.
A mini fit ensues. I've made 7 pounds of taco meat! SEVEN POUNDS! I'd even made a couple of quiches for breakfast as I know they will stay the night as they have in the past. Unplanned this time as they've been strangely uncommunicative this year. The saddest part is that these kids will not have much for Christmas.
Shortly after T-day I text mother gnome to get some gift ideas for the grandkids. Only the grandkids. We're not buying for the boys and their wives as money is tight and they've been generously helped all year. I don't hear from her. I text her to let her know what time to come Christmas eve. She lets me know they'll be on the road that day and they'll stop by Christmas day instead. I text her and let her know we'll be at my parents on Christmas day. I don't hear from her. BH, after much calling finds out that they will not be traveling that day and will be here for Christmas Eve. I'm hearing conflicting reports from other DIL, who I love, who says the gnomes are still undecided, yes they'll come, no maybe not. So even though BH assures me they'll be here, I am not so sure. I get a feeling that they either will not come or will otherwise make the holiday unpleasant for us.
And one side note to the whole gift thing. I like to get gift idea from the moms. So I call them up. Doesn't everyone do this? I remember giving little lists or ideas to the grandparents. I usually offered up reasonably priced items as I have 3 boys but they have many grandkids. It's no secret to anyone that we're struggling. Like everyone else. We're in Real Estate and the market has tanked so, yeah, not a lot of extra cash here. My phone often takes a message for me and doesn't let me know about it for a few days. (but I love you Cherry Berry) So I get this belated message, it's from mother gnome. And boy oh boy peeps, she's left me this monstrous message. I get a list of things for boy gome. A list of Xbox games that'd he'd like. He'd also love to have a microscope AND a telescope. Girl gnome would like that doll house that they have at Target. (just over $100 and huge! They live in their 5th wheel trailer remember) For her and hubs, well they'd so love to take the kids to the mountains this year. Maybe a little cabin with a fireplace instead of a hotel room. They'd like the kids to play in the snow.
There's nothing under $50.00 on this list and $50.00 and under was all we'd budgeted for the 6 grandkids. And a vacation! Are you serious! We're going to pay for a weekend in the mountains for them? Really? Really? They never even have gas money to get to our house.
This weekend we headed over there to give the kids their gifts. We'd gotten an Xbox game for the boy and a Gemagic (Bedazzler) plus other jewelry kits for the girl. The Gemagic was a hit by the way. Super duper easy. The whole time we're there mother gnome is talking to me about this vacation in the mountains. Inserting us in this scene now. Won't it be fun, sitting by the fireplace, yada yada yada. We could get snow clothes (because who has them here) and play in the snow. She'd like the kids to make a snowman this year and with all of us we could have a snowball fight. Wont this be all kinds of fun? NO! I say. I do not like the snow. I will not be playing in the snow. Snow is cold. Oh, she laughs. You could stay in the cabin and drink hot cocoa by the fire! You know, I think she'd be willing to put up with me if we paid for her little fantasy.
But I'm better now. After much discussion with BH we've both come to an understanding. He loves his son and grandkids. There is no excuse for their behavior but this is what we have. BH's way is to just let things go. He is not troubled by their quirkiness. He understands that I'm the one making all the plans and such. He gets it. No one can fix this silly family so we just have to make the best of it.
Besides, I kind of enjoy blogging about it.
One day I'm just gonna snap.
Background: The Gnomes are BH's son, DIL and three grandkids. The oldest grandaughter is 19, lives on her own and we rarely see her. Sadly I forget all about her most times. The two littler ones are boy gnome (9) and girl gnome (8) I think. Mother gnome is obnoxiously late for everything. Like an hour or two late. Like everyone's gone and we're all cleaned up and sometimes in bed late. Papa gnome has a list of irritants as well. To ridicules to list at the moment.
Every year we do Christmas Eve here at the house. I always go to my folks Christmas day so I have dinner the night before and the grandkids can come and open their gifts and play with their cousins and all the big people can get together and chat for awhile.
Last year was an early dinner giving us plenty of time to be together. Five minutes before the appointed time they give us a call and let us know they're leaving now and they'll be visiting his mom before they come. Yes before. The gnomes and his mother both live about an hour, hour and a half away. So they will be here an hour plus whatever visiting time they do late. I pitched a fit. Just a little fit. With much cursing and just a little yelling which prompted BH to call the son and tell him to get his ass here prompto. They did and were only 2 hours late.
The year before? They came around 10 oclock after I'd already gone to bed.
This year. They don't show at all.
Blessing or curse?
Well I'd prepared dinner for 4 extra people. And extra cause you know everyone will want seconds etc. I decided on taco's for Christmas eve. Not festive but easy. Heat up the meat and beans, toppings on the table, buffet style, no muss, no fuss. I'd made 7 lbs of taco meat.
While frying up shells as guests are arriving BH calls papa gnome to see if they are on their way. No they are not. They're just too tired and have decided to stay home.
A mini fit ensues. I've made 7 pounds of taco meat! SEVEN POUNDS! I'd even made a couple of quiches for breakfast as I know they will stay the night as they have in the past. Unplanned this time as they've been strangely uncommunicative this year. The saddest part is that these kids will not have much for Christmas.
Shortly after T-day I text mother gnome to get some gift ideas for the grandkids. Only the grandkids. We're not buying for the boys and their wives as money is tight and they've been generously helped all year. I don't hear from her. I text her to let her know what time to come Christmas eve. She lets me know they'll be on the road that day and they'll stop by Christmas day instead. I text her and let her know we'll be at my parents on Christmas day. I don't hear from her. BH, after much calling finds out that they will not be traveling that day and will be here for Christmas Eve. I'm hearing conflicting reports from other DIL, who I love, who says the gnomes are still undecided, yes they'll come, no maybe not. So even though BH assures me they'll be here, I am not so sure. I get a feeling that they either will not come or will otherwise make the holiday unpleasant for us.
And one side note to the whole gift thing. I like to get gift idea from the moms. So I call them up. Doesn't everyone do this? I remember giving little lists or ideas to the grandparents. I usually offered up reasonably priced items as I have 3 boys but they have many grandkids. It's no secret to anyone that we're struggling. Like everyone else. We're in Real Estate and the market has tanked so, yeah, not a lot of extra cash here. My phone often takes a message for me and doesn't let me know about it for a few days. (but I love you Cherry Berry) So I get this belated message, it's from mother gnome. And boy oh boy peeps, she's left me this monstrous message. I get a list of things for boy gome. A list of Xbox games that'd he'd like. He'd also love to have a microscope AND a telescope. Girl gnome would like that doll house that they have at Target. (just over $100 and huge! They live in their 5th wheel trailer remember) For her and hubs, well they'd so love to take the kids to the mountains this year. Maybe a little cabin with a fireplace instead of a hotel room. They'd like the kids to play in the snow.
There's nothing under $50.00 on this list and $50.00 and under was all we'd budgeted for the 6 grandkids. And a vacation! Are you serious! We're going to pay for a weekend in the mountains for them? Really? Really? They never even have gas money to get to our house.
This weekend we headed over there to give the kids their gifts. We'd gotten an Xbox game for the boy and a Gemagic (Bedazzler) plus other jewelry kits for the girl. The Gemagic was a hit by the way. Super duper easy. The whole time we're there mother gnome is talking to me about this vacation in the mountains. Inserting us in this scene now. Won't it be fun, sitting by the fireplace, yada yada yada. We could get snow clothes (because who has them here) and play in the snow. She'd like the kids to make a snowman this year and with all of us we could have a snowball fight. Wont this be all kinds of fun? NO! I say. I do not like the snow. I will not be playing in the snow. Snow is cold. Oh, she laughs. You could stay in the cabin and drink hot cocoa by the fire! You know, I think she'd be willing to put up with me if we paid for her little fantasy.
But I'm better now. After much discussion with BH we've both come to an understanding. He loves his son and grandkids. There is no excuse for their behavior but this is what we have. BH's way is to just let things go. He is not troubled by their quirkiness. He understands that I'm the one making all the plans and such. He gets it. No one can fix this silly family so we just have to make the best of it.
Besides, I kind of enjoy blogging about it.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Miscellaneous Christmas Crap
Miscellaneous Christmas crap
The new Christmas stamp. . . . . .
Is it me or do these stamps look small? Maybe my old stamps were just big.
I want to paint a Christmas design on my toes. I've laid down the base color, which I like very much. But I'm still undecided as to what to paint. Any ideas?
Hat, gloves, scarf, check.
The new Christmas stamp. . . . . .
Is it me or do these stamps look small? Maybe my old stamps were just big.
I want to paint a Christmas design on my toes. I've laid down the base color, which I like very much. But I'm still undecided as to what to paint. Any ideas?
Hat, gloves, scarf, check. Baby it's COLD out side!
And rainy. And this will be the day we will try to finish our shopping. After we go into the office. We may or may not get out of the office before I run out of steam.
And of course I am expecting some Christmas drama already. I can't even talk about it right now but I know THEY are planning to bust my chops this year.
Again.
I'm planning on having Hot Buttered Rum for the evening drink.
I have PLENTY of rum.
And I'm not afraid to drink it!
Again.
I'm planning on having Hot Buttered Rum for the evening drink.
I have PLENTY of rum.
And I'm not afraid to drink it!
Friday, July 03, 2009
Happy Fathers Day!!
Hope you all had a great Fathers Day, celebrating with the fathers in your life that you love.
I did not take many pictures and the ones I did may not be worth posting but partying with the Gnomes is always a fun day.
First let me remind you that they are always late. ALWAYS! And not just gosh we got caught up in traffic, dropped the pickle jar and had to clean that up, or. . . whatever, late. It's at least 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours late. Many times they call us to let us know they are on their way just minutes before they should actually be HERE. (they live a good hour away) I've tried a number of tricks a number of times and nothing has gotten them any closer than 45 minutes late. (and I welcome your stories and suggestions)
I have taken the WHATEVER! approach. Because really there is no stopping them and their extremely weird behavior.
HER: What time are you having people over? Why does she ask this? Why?
me: We are having people over at 1:00 so she knows how late to be?
HER: Well we wont be there EXACTLY at one. We've got church and by the time it lets out and we get down there, you know, so I don't think we'll be there EXACTLY at one. (emphasis HERS) no? seriously? you wont be on time?
me: Well I understand you've got morning plans. We'll see you when you get here.
So, there you have it. I have decided not to give it another thought. I do of course. Think about it a lot. A lot.
BH's response? Whatever. He does not get worked up over such trivial things.
I had big plans for Fathers Day. BBQ, ice cream bar. I thought the kids would enjoy ice cream and all the toppings. I'd asked everyone to bring their favorite toppings.
12:45 pm
HER: We're here, we're here in LE, we've just stopped at the store to pick up the toppings and I thought I'd find out what you already had so we didn't double up on toppings.
I tell her all we have and that she doesn't really need to bring anything if she doesn't want to. We're just getting ready to start the BBQ so just come on over.
1:40 pm
They walk in.
They walk in! 50 minutes late! And they were here! They were already here!
We were just pulling the meat off (that's what he said) as we were having some trouble with the BBQ.
HE Gnome: Oh, I see you haven't started yet. We thought you'd be done eating by now.
me: ???????????????????????????????
I don't get it, really, someone explain this crazyness to me.
I did not take many pictures and the ones I did may not be worth posting but partying with the Gnomes is always a fun day.
First let me remind you that they are always late. ALWAYS! And not just gosh we got caught up in traffic, dropped the pickle jar and had to clean that up, or. . . whatever, late. It's at least 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours late. Many times they call us to let us know they are on their way just minutes before they should actually be HERE. (they live a good hour away) I've tried a number of tricks a number of times and nothing has gotten them any closer than 45 minutes late. (and I welcome your stories and suggestions)
I have taken the WHATEVER! approach. Because really there is no stopping them and their extremely weird behavior.
HER: What time are you having people over? Why does she ask this? Why?
me: We are having people over at 1:00 so she knows how late to be?
HER: Well we wont be there EXACTLY at one. We've got church and by the time it lets out and we get down there, you know, so I don't think we'll be there EXACTLY at one. (emphasis HERS) no? seriously? you wont be on time?
me: Well I understand you've got morning plans. We'll see you when you get here.
So, there you have it. I have decided not to give it another thought. I do of course. Think about it a lot. A lot.
BH's response? Whatever. He does not get worked up over such trivial things.
I had big plans for Fathers Day. BBQ, ice cream bar. I thought the kids would enjoy ice cream and all the toppings. I'd asked everyone to bring their favorite toppings.
12:45 pm
HER: We're here, we're here in LE, we've just stopped at the store to pick up the toppings and I thought I'd find out what you already had so we didn't double up on toppings.
I tell her all we have and that she doesn't really need to bring anything if she doesn't want to. We're just getting ready to start the BBQ so just come on over.
1:40 pm
They walk in.
They walk in! 50 minutes late! And they were here! They were already here!
We were just pulling the meat off (that's what he said) as we were having some trouble with the BBQ.
HE Gnome: Oh, I see you haven't started yet. We thought you'd be done eating by now.
me: ???????????????????????????????
I don't get it, really, someone explain this crazyness to me.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
It's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to
Being an overnight guest can sometimes be difficult for both guest and hostess.
I've rewritten this several times and still can't get it right.
I'm tired of working on it. You get this draft.
To my guest, here are just a few reasons why people dread overnight guests. Which until this time I had enjoyed and looked forward to your company.
Ask if your mother can come and bring her 2 dogs
When the answer is no sound disappointed and tell hostess that her mother will just have to stay home this Christmas because she will NOT leave her dogs
Have your hostess rearrange her holiday schedule to accommodate you and your family.
You do this by letting her know that you can't possibly come Christmas Eve when all the other family members will be there. You and your family WILL be able to come Christmas day at dinner time
Hostess cuts short a visit with her parents to accommodate your family
Arrive 4 hours late
With hostess crashed upstairs from busy schedule of cooking, cleaning and celebrating allow your kids to open the presents you picked out for them instead of waiting till the morning
Allow children to scream, laugh and bounce off the walls with hostess crashed upstairs
Bring your dog with you
Bring her little bed and all her toys
Bring her little doggie gate and block off the downstairs bathroom with it
Sleep in late while dog pisses a huge puddle on your carpet
When your dog pees AGAIN blame your hostesses dog
Take your dog out to the front yard to pee on the grass instead of the back yard that has no grass
Announce "Now would be a great time to do our nails."
Ask for your hostesses nail polishes
(run upstairs)
Ask for polish remover and cotton balls
(run upstairs, while there get files that you know she will want next)
Ask for buffers
Inform guest that your buffers are packed as hostess is not climbing those f**king stairs again
Inform your hostess that you brought your own buffer
Remove polish and leave acetone soaked cotton balls on wood table
Allow your little girl to roam around with wet nails
Ask for towels so you can wash your dog
Pitch a bloody fit when denied this request to wash your dog in hostess's tub
With a teary voice ask if hostess knows a good groomer in your town so you can get your filthy dog cleaned.
Guest dog only appears filthy to guest
Inform hostess that your dog has fleas
Feed your kids every 20 minutes
No I'm not kidding
Throw out food after children have taken one bite so they can have a cookie
Rearrange the fridge so that the expensive grapes are next to the cut onions
Ok I did that myself
The onions were bagged, who knew they'd take on an onioney taste?
Cause your hostess to drink too much champagne to deal with your nuttiness
Cause your hostess to suffer a hangover the next day
Ok I did that to myself too
Forget to bring your own dogs food
Inquire about the quality of your dog food as your dog will throw up
Ask for your carpet cleaner so she can clean up vomit and pee stains
Express shock when your hostess does not have a carpet cleaner
Take a 1/2 package of disposable razors
Do 2 loads of laundry
Leave all the lights and fans on that you can
Hide in the closet to talk on phone
Act annoyed when hostess and crying children find you in the closet
'whispering in the garage'
Me: Are they staying another night?
BH: They haven't mentioned it
Me: Should they... the answer is 'NO'
BH: silence
Me: I'm sorry baby, I've had enough
ps: if you leave the grapes out overnight they stop tasting like onions.
I've rewritten this several times and still can't get it right.
I'm tired of working on it. You get this draft.
To my guest, here are just a few reasons why people dread overnight guests. Which until this time I had enjoyed and looked forward to your company.
Ask if your mother can come and bring her 2 dogs
When the answer is no sound disappointed and tell hostess that her mother will just have to stay home this Christmas because she will NOT leave her dogs
Have your hostess rearrange her holiday schedule to accommodate you and your family.
You do this by letting her know that you can't possibly come Christmas Eve when all the other family members will be there. You and your family WILL be able to come Christmas day at dinner time
Hostess cuts short a visit with her parents to accommodate your family
Arrive 4 hours late
With hostess crashed upstairs from busy schedule of cooking, cleaning and celebrating allow your kids to open the presents you picked out for them instead of waiting till the morning
Allow children to scream, laugh and bounce off the walls with hostess crashed upstairs
Bring your dog with you
Bring her little bed and all her toys
Bring her little doggie gate and block off the downstairs bathroom with it
Sleep in late while dog pisses a huge puddle on your carpet
When your dog pees AGAIN blame your hostesses dog
Take your dog out to the front yard to pee on the grass instead of the back yard that has no grass
Announce "Now would be a great time to do our nails."
Ask for your hostesses nail polishes
(run upstairs)
Ask for polish remover and cotton balls
(run upstairs, while there get files that you know she will want next)
Ask for buffers
Inform guest that your buffers are packed as hostess is not climbing those f**king stairs again
Inform your hostess that you brought your own buffer
Remove polish and leave acetone soaked cotton balls on wood table
Allow your little girl to roam around with wet nails
Ask for towels so you can wash your dog
Pitch a bloody fit when denied this request to wash your dog in hostess's tub
With a teary voice ask if hostess knows a good groomer in your town so you can get your filthy dog cleaned.
Guest dog only appears filthy to guest
Inform hostess that your dog has fleas
Feed your kids every 20 minutes
No I'm not kidding
Throw out food after children have taken one bite so they can have a cookie
Rearrange the fridge so that the expensive grapes are next to the cut onions
Ok I did that myself
The onions were bagged, who knew they'd take on an onioney taste?
Cause your hostess to drink too much champagne to deal with your nuttiness
Cause your hostess to suffer a hangover the next day
Ok I did that to myself too
Forget to bring your own dogs food
Inquire about the quality of your dog food as your dog will throw up
Ask for your carpet cleaner so she can clean up vomit and pee stains
Express shock when your hostess does not have a carpet cleaner
Take a 1/2 package of disposable razors
Do 2 loads of laundry
Leave all the lights and fans on that you can
Hide in the closet to talk on phone
Act annoyed when hostess and crying children find you in the closet
'whispering in the garage'
Me: Are they staying another night?
BH: They haven't mentioned it
Me: Should they... the answer is 'NO'
BH: silence
Me: I'm sorry baby, I've had enough
ps: if you leave the grapes out overnight they stop tasting like onions.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Happy Fathers Day BH
HAPPY FATHERS DAY SWEETIE!
BH had a great Fathers Day. His boys were terrific. They got him this awesome birdhouse. It is huge. First they hand him this huge post. Then they brought out the birdhouse. So funny. They also got him this very cool computer game for flight simulation where you can also engage in dog fights. (you know, airplane dog fights, not woof woof dog fights) They all came over on Sunday with all the grandkids. It was just so much fun. We BBQ hot dogs, sausages and a friend brought over these very tasty smoked sausages and ribs. Yum Yum.
This here is a ice water challenge. Stick your hand in the ice water and see how long you can hold it in the water.
Notice the faces
Little Bryson wins!
He was so cute, he did not give up.
Then it was time to give Tom some watermelon. I think he ate 7 pieces. What a pig!
He was covered in red sticky juice.
Bryson loved feeding the turtle by hand.Monday, April 10, 2006
Round Trip 'The Border'
Very fine pug with her Spring Break bonnet on. I do believe that she went to Mexico as well.
Dave and Barbie at the border
This weekend son #2 decided that he and his girlfriend would go to Mexico for spring break. He is 19 and his girlfriend turned 20 on Saturday. Arn't they the cutest things?This is what they look like standing up.
Barbie is really a barbie. She is 4'9 and Dave is 6'1 or 2.
I really had a great time driving them down there and picking them up. It was a little late when I dropped them off at the house. About 9 or so. Dave had the back of my van lifted and when he went to close it he bonked poor Barbie on the head. They were both tired and cranky and Barb was yelling at him telling him what a dork he was and he was yelling at her telling her that she was a midget and needed to be where he could see her. She kicked him. He's huge in comparison so big whoop there. But I laughed my head off. He said he thought the door caught on something so he was ready to slam it again. He kind of is a big dork. He keeps me amused.
I also went into Orange County Sunday. Yes the the big OC. We saw my Big Hunks grandkids. This is Myckenzie. She is a little imp isn't she?
I really had a great time driving them down there and picking them up. It was a little late when I dropped them off at the house. About 9 or so. Dave had the back of my van lifted and when he went to close it he bonked poor Barbie on the head. They were both tired and cranky and Barb was yelling at him telling him what a dork he was and he was yelling at her telling her that she was a midget and needed to be where he could see her. She kicked him. He's huge in comparison so big whoop there. But I laughed my head off. He said he thought the door caught on something so he was ready to slam it again. He kind of is a big dork. He keeps me amused.
I also went into Orange County Sunday. Yes the the big OC. We saw my Big Hunks grandkids. This is Myckenzie. She is a little imp isn't she?
We went to Burger King and had Chicken nuggets before heading down to Mexico. They were awful cute. Shaped like crowns and such. They were good but you just don't get nearly enough. It is a little strange having chicken in shapes. I used to have chickens and I never did see a nugget on them let alone something shaped like a crown or lightening bolt.
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