Two of my sons love Farmville. And you know, I've really kind of enjoyed it. I love gardening and so it's been fun to play with Farmville. A little confusing at first. What do you do? How do you do it? I'd get a lot of gifts and then I wouldn't know where they went or what to do with them once I found them. I'm pretty hip on it now. I've got me a few chickens, a sheep, a pig and a couple of cows and fruit trees. You get to collect eggs, collect wool, milk the cows (the brown one gives chocolate milk!) and the pig? You get truffles with him.
I've been admiring my friends farms. So large, lush. Many many cool designs. One friend has reindeer and there are stables and chicken coops and and and many of their farms are huge! How come mine is so small?
I'm told I need to keep going. Keep planting and harvesting. You get coins and bonus points or experience things and then you can buy a bigger farm.
I want a bigger farm.
Then one glorious day I'm told I can now buy a tractor! Oh! A tractor! Oh happy day!! Wouldn't that just cut down on the time it takes to clicky click my way around the farm. I am jonsing for a tractor, I click to buy.
And.
Oh I see you don't have enough money in your account to buy a tractor, would you like to add money to your account?
Like real money?
Like real money?
For reals?
You want me to pay money to play your game?
I've just been named Rockstar Farmer. But I have to pay real money to buy a freakin tractor.
FML
Showing posts with label FML. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FML. Show all posts
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
FML part cuatro
It's not as difficult as you might think to find something to bitch about.
And this is how I've been starting my mornings. And it has the power to crash my whole day.
My coffee pot is broken. More accurately the grinder is broken. We have one of those cool pots that grind the beans and then delivers up a perfectly delightful pot of exquisite coffee.
Except now the grinder is broken.
So now I must grind the beans prior to making a pot of delish coffee.
This is not so bad, no, not so bad. I enjoy grinding coffee in my little Coffee Mate or is it Mr. Coffee grinder, aka spice grinder, aka nut grinder. It smells terrific when I do it. It also makes a mess when I do it because I. Am a messy person and can't figure out how to do just about anything without making a mess.
Never mind.
That is not the problem. The problem is, or now is, the coffee pot burbs and drizzles coffee all over the pot and onto the counter. Why? Why does it do this? Coffee grounds too fine? Coffee grounds too many? Coffee pot dirty or just mad at me?
I clean it.
Many times.
With vinegar.
Still burps coffee all over my counter and leaves a sludgy muddy layer of . . grounds? at the bottom of the pot making a cup of joe more like a thick gritty bitter coffee flavored pudding that refuses to set.
It doesn't do it all the time.
There is no rhyme or reason for this phenomenon.
I do not know how to rectify this problem.
FML
And this is how I've been starting my mornings. And it has the power to crash my whole day.
My coffee pot is broken. More accurately the grinder is broken. We have one of those cool pots that grind the beans and then delivers up a perfectly delightful pot of exquisite coffee.
Except now the grinder is broken.
So now I must grind the beans prior to making a pot of delish coffee.
This is not so bad, no, not so bad. I enjoy grinding coffee in my little Coffee Mate or is it Mr. Coffee grinder, aka spice grinder, aka nut grinder. It smells terrific when I do it. It also makes a mess when I do it because I. Am a messy person and can't figure out how to do just about anything without making a mess.
Never mind.
That is not the problem. The problem is, or now is, the coffee pot burbs and drizzles coffee all over the pot and onto the counter. Why? Why does it do this? Coffee grounds too fine? Coffee grounds too many? Coffee pot dirty or just mad at me?
I clean it.
Many times.
With vinegar.
Still burps coffee all over my counter and leaves a sludgy muddy layer of . . grounds? at the bottom of the pot making a cup of joe more like a thick gritty bitter coffee flavored pudding that refuses to set.
It doesn't do it all the time.
There is no rhyme or reason for this phenomenon.
I do not know how to rectify this problem.
FML
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
FML part drei
I'm still bitchy.
There are happier places to visit.
Move along.
Who would do this! OMG!! I think I just threw up a little.
Ya'all know my unnatural fear of spiders right? No? Well I have an unnatural fear of spiders. You can call it phobic, you can call it arachnophobia, what ever you call it I call it 'spiders are of the devil'. They scare me. They scare me so much that I get nauseous just thinking about them. I once found hundreds of eggs sacs, hundreds, I exaggerate not, in the cupboard that houses the toys I keep for the grandbabies. I threw up for a good hour thinking how those delightful, and some not so delightful children could have had a spider on them.
So. I go into the bathroom, my bathroom, and I'm rubbing my eyes and getting ready for bed. I head into the bedroom when, I stop, and right at my feet. Inches, I say inches, from my feet is a very large wolf spider. Large. Wolf. Spider. If you're not familiar with wolf spiders in your neck of the wood let me just say they are large, furry, and fast. They look like baby taranchulas only faster. Except when they are carrying around their egg sack. Why? Why must they cart their egg sac around with them? Why? It's large and they tuck it under themselves and it's creepy and quite unnecessary if you ask me. But they do. The only thing creepier than that is that when the babies hatch, they then cart them around on their back. No really!
LOOK!!
And on someones hand! WHO COULD DO SUCH A THING? Truly vomitous.
Back to my spider. Because it's all about me. The spider is sitting there, standing? What? And I began to call out. Because I have no spider killing weapon anywhere near me and I'm getting ready for bed and not exactly decent, not to mention I can't leave the room because I'd have to cross the spider. There is just no way I'm crossing this spider. You may not know this but my house is practically sound proof. I holler down to BH. He can't hear me, I know this. Ddunkie is in the john so I yell out DDUNKIE!!!! WHAT? A SPIDER!! JC MOM! HURRY! I'M POOPING!! And then the spider, quite annoyed with all the yelling and pooping runs, RUNS! RUNS I TELL YOU! around my feet. AROUND MY FEET! then around the corner and behind my dresser.
FML
Ddunkie, mid poo, comes into the room to see. 'Is it big?' 'BIG!' 'One of 'those'?' 'yes' We're whispering at this point as we have no desire to further annoy this beast that is now hidden in my bedroom where I had intended to sleep but now will not be able to.
I run downstairs and grab the shop vac. The brand new shop vac that we got for cheep at the HD and has never even been used. This was a purchase that I'd hoped would improve my mood and if it fulfills it's spider killing duty just may.
BH hears me hollering and sees me grab the shop vac and head up the stairs with purpose and says What is all the noise? A SPIDER! 'Jeezs I thought you were dying up there.' Nice of you to check on me my love. He comes up the stairs after me. He. Is not such a great spider killer. He's not afraid, he just sucks at it. If I am going to sleep anywhere in this house I will need to be sure it's dead.
BH: How big is it?
me: BIG
BH: How big?
me: BIG
BH: Like. .
me: Baby it's BIG and it needs to die!
And now Ddunkie is out of the john and looking on.
BH slowly pulls my dresser from the wall. Of course the spider could hide UNDER the dresser and just move with it, or attach isself underneath and just ride it out. Spiders are smart this way. And the dresser moves, slowly, slowly, slowly and then. . . There it is! Up against the wall. All manner of colorful language escapes our lips. It truly is a LARGE spider. And since BH the brave spider slayer is there he quickly ducks behind the dresser and. .and. .crush crush crush. (vomit vomit vomit) He kills it. 'Now go get me a tissue' 'why?' 'to wipe the spider off my shoe' '(gak) no'
Ddunkie is just barely brave enough to get him a tissue and hand it to him in a most comical way. In other words, just barely close enough for BH to barely touch the tissue. And once tissue makes contact with BH's hands, Ddunkie hauls it out of there, crashing into me, watching from the relative safety of the doorway. Keep in mind the spider is dead at this point.
Dead spider = 10% mood elevation
Child with same degree of spider fear yet willing to kill a spider for his mommy = 20% mood elevation.
I'd rate it higher, but then I'd have to say I was now in a great mood.
There are happier places to visit.
Move along.
Who would do this! OMG!! I think I just threw up a little.
Ya'all know my unnatural fear of spiders right? No? Well I have an unnatural fear of spiders. You can call it phobic, you can call it arachnophobia, what ever you call it I call it 'spiders are of the devil'. They scare me. They scare me so much that I get nauseous just thinking about them. I once found hundreds of eggs sacs, hundreds, I exaggerate not, in the cupboard that houses the toys I keep for the grandbabies. I threw up for a good hour thinking how those delightful, and some not so delightful children could have had a spider on them.
So. I go into the bathroom, my bathroom, and I'm rubbing my eyes and getting ready for bed. I head into the bedroom when, I stop, and right at my feet. Inches, I say inches, from my feet is a very large wolf spider. Large. Wolf. Spider. If you're not familiar with wolf spiders in your neck of the wood let me just say they are large, furry, and fast. They look like baby taranchulas only faster. Except when they are carrying around their egg sack. Why? Why must they cart their egg sac around with them? Why? It's large and they tuck it under themselves and it's creepy and quite unnecessary if you ask me. But they do. The only thing creepier than that is that when the babies hatch, they then cart them around on their back. No really!
LOOK!!
And on someones hand! WHO COULD DO SUCH A THING? Truly vomitous.
Back to my spider. Because it's all about me. The spider is sitting there, standing? What? And I began to call out. Because I have no spider killing weapon anywhere near me and I'm getting ready for bed and not exactly decent, not to mention I can't leave the room because I'd have to cross the spider. There is just no way I'm crossing this spider. You may not know this but my house is practically sound proof. I holler down to BH. He can't hear me, I know this. Ddunkie is in the john so I yell out DDUNKIE!!!! WHAT? A SPIDER!! JC MOM! HURRY! I'M POOPING!! And then the spider, quite annoyed with all the yelling and pooping runs, RUNS! RUNS I TELL YOU! around my feet. AROUND MY FEET! then around the corner and behind my dresser.
FML
Ddunkie, mid poo, comes into the room to see. 'Is it big?' 'BIG!' 'One of 'those'?' 'yes' We're whispering at this point as we have no desire to further annoy this beast that is now hidden in my bedroom where I had intended to sleep but now will not be able to.
I run downstairs and grab the shop vac. The brand new shop vac that we got for cheep at the HD and has never even been used. This was a purchase that I'd hoped would improve my mood and if it fulfills it's spider killing duty just may.
BH hears me hollering and sees me grab the shop vac and head up the stairs with purpose and says What is all the noise? A SPIDER! 'Jeezs I thought you were dying up there.' Nice of you to check on me my love. He comes up the stairs after me. He. Is not such a great spider killer. He's not afraid, he just sucks at it. If I am going to sleep anywhere in this house I will need to be sure it's dead.
BH: How big is it?
me: BIG
BH: How big?
me: BIG
BH: Like. .
me: Baby it's BIG and it needs to die!
And now Ddunkie is out of the john and looking on.
BH slowly pulls my dresser from the wall. Of course the spider could hide UNDER the dresser and just move with it, or attach isself underneath and just ride it out. Spiders are smart this way. And the dresser moves, slowly, slowly, slowly and then. . . There it is! Up against the wall. All manner of colorful language escapes our lips. It truly is a LARGE spider. And since BH the brave spider slayer is there he quickly ducks behind the dresser and. .and. .crush crush crush. (vomit vomit vomit) He kills it. 'Now go get me a tissue' 'why?' 'to wipe the spider off my shoe' '(gak) no'
Ddunkie is just barely brave enough to get him a tissue and hand it to him in a most comical way. In other words, just barely close enough for BH to barely touch the tissue. And once tissue makes contact with BH's hands, Ddunkie hauls it out of there, crashing into me, watching from the relative safety of the doorway. Keep in mind the spider is dead at this point.
Dead spider = 10% mood elevation
Child with same degree of spider fear yet willing to kill a spider for his mommy = 20% mood elevation.
I'd rate it higher, but then I'd have to say I was now in a great mood.
Monday, March 22, 2010
FML part deux
I'm feeling pretty crappy and depressed. I'm a downer so may want to play somewhere else today. Again
I saw a pug! I can't resist. I must meet and smooch this newest addition to a friends home.
He not really a friend, he's our mechanic and we've known him for many many years. I guess he really is a friend, but not like a call up and chit chat kind of friend. Whatever.
And he says Saralee (his daughters new 'room mate') has a pug. So I gotta see him.
His name is Sparky. Or Spanky. I forget.
First thing I notice is that his head is huge! And then he is a bag of bones. Bony ribs, sunken flanks.
How's his diet? Does he eat well, have any diarrhea?
No, he eats well.
Has he been wormed?
Oh yes, he's been wormed.
She. Does not look like the type of gal that would spend money on a vet. If she did the vet would surly notice the mange on his wrinkles.
He's two years old and not fixed. She says. The lady I got him from wants to breed him one more time and then I'll get him fixed.
Great. He's a puppy mill puggy with a trashy new owner.
He needs to be rescued.
This does nothing to improve my mood.
FML
FYI I scrubbed my hands lest I bring whatever evil this sweet dog is harboring back to my own furry children.
I saw a pug! I can't resist. I must meet and smooch this newest addition to a friends home.
He not really a friend, he's our mechanic and we've known him for many many years. I guess he really is a friend, but not like a call up and chit chat kind of friend. Whatever.
And he says Saralee (his daughters new 'room mate') has a pug. So I gotta see him.
His name is Sparky. Or Spanky. I forget.
First thing I notice is that his head is huge! And then he is a bag of bones. Bony ribs, sunken flanks.
How's his diet? Does he eat well, have any diarrhea?
No, he eats well.
Has he been wormed?
Oh yes, he's been wormed.
She. Does not look like the type of gal that would spend money on a vet. If she did the vet would surly notice the mange on his wrinkles.
He's two years old and not fixed. She says. The lady I got him from wants to breed him one more time and then I'll get him fixed.
Great. He's a puppy mill puggy with a trashy new owner.
He needs to be rescued.
This does nothing to improve my mood.
FML
FYI I scrubbed my hands lest I bring whatever evil this sweet dog is harboring back to my own furry children.
FML
It's been a crappy week. Month, I think it's been a more like a month. I'll be doing a lot of depressing whining here so you may want to play somewhere else today.
February is sometimes a depressing month for me. I'm eating dinner in the dark. My plants are in bad shape, it's too early to start new plants and it's too cold to go out and clean things up. My Godmother has a name for February, it doesn't sound so bad in French but it is roughly translated 'February Sucks'. I don't worry so much about February, our winters are mild and soon enough the sun comes, the hills are ablaze in fiery orange poppies and all is soon forgotten.
I've had a heaviness for most of Feb and now almost all of March. Nothing happened, no major events, just a heaviness. I call it depression light. I keep busy and It'll pass.
It hasn't.
Someone hacked into my email account. I found out quick enough and changed my password. As a result I've had to change the code on my phone, which I did not know how to do. After spending 45 minutes with Sprint we got it all squared away. I can now receive emails on my phone again. BUT what I cannot do is sync my Cherry Berry up with my computer. Here's how it works. I use Yahoo. I add all my info on my desktop yahoo and when I sync it the information is updated on my phone. If I add info on my phone, when I sync it the information is updated on my desktop Yahoo. I can easily work from my home computer Yahoo to my work computer Yahoo or my phone. It's all the same. It's worked so wonderfully these two years that I never ever want to get another phone.
Of course now I am unable to sync with Yahoo. I'm quite sure it has something to do with our hacker so I call Sprint again. She checks everything and walks me through some things and then says, 'gee, let me ask someone'. When she comes back she tells me that BB doesn't sync up with Yahoo. 'Oh yes! For two years it has synced up with Yahoo, it most certainly does.' she runs a few more tests and excuses herself again. 'Yahoo does not sync with BB, you'll need to use your Outlook.' I don't use Outlook. Problem #1 with Outlook. I don't have Microsoft on my computer and even though Outlook can be used I'm not able to make it work right for me. #2 Outlook will work with one computer. With Yahoo I can change sh*t on any computer and when I'm ready to sync, it's all there. With Outlook you are limited to the computer that you have it set up on.
In other words, the bloom is off the Cherry Berry. I will be searching for a phone that will sync with my email account. Every email address, property address and notes, tasks, calenders, I need them all at my fingertips from phone or comp, specifically a Yahoo or other account I can access anywhere. My phone = 90% business. I am hog tied.
FML
February is sometimes a depressing month for me. I'm eating dinner in the dark. My plants are in bad shape, it's too early to start new plants and it's too cold to go out and clean things up. My Godmother has a name for February, it doesn't sound so bad in French but it is roughly translated 'February Sucks'. I don't worry so much about February, our winters are mild and soon enough the sun comes, the hills are ablaze in fiery orange poppies and all is soon forgotten.
I've had a heaviness for most of Feb and now almost all of March. Nothing happened, no major events, just a heaviness. I call it depression light. I keep busy and It'll pass.
It hasn't.
Someone hacked into my email account. I found out quick enough and changed my password. As a result I've had to change the code on my phone, which I did not know how to do. After spending 45 minutes with Sprint we got it all squared away. I can now receive emails on my phone again. BUT what I cannot do is sync my Cherry Berry up with my computer. Here's how it works. I use Yahoo. I add all my info on my desktop yahoo and when I sync it the information is updated on my phone. If I add info on my phone, when I sync it the information is updated on my desktop Yahoo. I can easily work from my home computer Yahoo to my work computer Yahoo or my phone. It's all the same. It's worked so wonderfully these two years that I never ever want to get another phone.
Of course now I am unable to sync with Yahoo. I'm quite sure it has something to do with our hacker so I call Sprint again. She checks everything and walks me through some things and then says, 'gee, let me ask someone'. When she comes back she tells me that BB doesn't sync up with Yahoo. 'Oh yes! For two years it has synced up with Yahoo, it most certainly does.' she runs a few more tests and excuses herself again. 'Yahoo does not sync with BB, you'll need to use your Outlook.' I don't use Outlook. Problem #1 with Outlook. I don't have Microsoft on my computer and even though Outlook can be used I'm not able to make it work right for me. #2 Outlook will work with one computer. With Yahoo I can change sh*t on any computer and when I'm ready to sync, it's all there. With Outlook you are limited to the computer that you have it set up on.
In other words, the bloom is off the Cherry Berry. I will be searching for a phone that will sync with my email account. Every email address, property address and notes, tasks, calenders, I need them all at my fingertips from phone or comp, specifically a Yahoo or other account I can access anywhere. My phone = 90% business. I am hog tied.
FML
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