Has anyone seen my bra?

It's that time again! The yearly squishing of the boobs. It's not so so bad for me as I have something to spread out on that frosty sheet of glass. Still, not something you want to do anymore often than once a year.

As I was saying, mamo time, at the clinic. I love this clinic. They are fast, you hardly have to wait, it's never crowded and the ladies all remember you and call you by name and ask about your kids and it's just like family! Of course that means you see them more than most people see their doctors but. . . if you're gonna have medical issues it's nice to have friendly people around.

Am I ever gonna get to the story?

Why yes, what's your hurry? You got something better to do?

If so you should just go do it, this is just not that interesting.

Ok, I'm ushered into the dressing room. There are four teeny tiny itsy bitsy stalls to the left and then there's the ginormous dressing room fit for royalty or anyone with a wheelchair on the right. I always use the queen suite. I once used the teeny tiny itsy bitsy stall and I'll tell you it wasn't big enough to change your mind let alone try to get your bra off, wipe the deodorant off your pits and slide into one of those stylish gown tops, open at the front thank you very much. So I'm in the uber deluxe dressing room, do my thing and sit in the chairs provided until someone comes for me. There seems to be a glitch in the machines and people are running hither and yon and I'm waiting and waiting. No worries, I have internet on my trusty blackberry so I'm cool. In comes this pretty young mommy with her two adorable little boys. Into the dressing area. I quickly pull my clothing out of the comfort inn and tell her she should use this room rather than the claustrophobic closets to the left. No no, she says, it's fine, no no I says, please, you'll need the space for your little guys. She is grateful and goes in. I deposit my bra and blouse into one of the mini rooms and then I'm shuttled in to the mamo room.

That done I head back to the dressing rooms to dress, remove the cute stickers the techie has used to decorate my upper torso and skedaddle. Except there is something wrong. Something missing. Something I cannot believe someone would take and something I'm not going to leave the office without. My bra! My bra is missing! It's missing! I look all over the tiny room. Twice. And honestly if it was in there it could practically put itself on it's so small in there. It's gone! Where could it be?

AND WHO TAKES SOMEONES ELSES BRA? Who does that!!!!

With goofy gown on I began to wander the dressing area. The only other person in that room was mommy and sons so I look in there. Her stuff is in there and I hate looking through it but, yanno, my bra, and it has to be somewhere. It's not in there.

I check in the hamper and around the hamper.

I check in every stall.

I checked in the cupboards they keep the gowns in.

That's all there is to this little dressing area. Where the heck is it?

I have no other choice but to wander out into the hall and hail a worker to help me find my bra. A techie finally appears and I explain my unusual circumstance to her and she begins the search as well. Another techie appears and we enlist her in the search. My bra is discovered. In the hamper. (I did SO check the hamper!) At the bottom of the hamper.

hers: Did you accidentally drop it in there with your gown?
me: I'm still wearing my gown!
hers: Oh. (these are bright women and they are looking at me like I'm nuts)
me: I really think the little boys did it.
hers: Oh right! (wink wink)

No, they believed me. Those little cuties were tearing up every xray room they were in.

So all is well

And the test results are. . .

ALL CLEAR ON THE WESTERN FRONT!!!

No abnormalities detected.