Guilt is not always a bad thing

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You remember the houseguestsfromhell yes? Well they were here just a few weeks ago. Mrs. HGH had called me the week before, me, usually she calls pops but she called me. All happy pappy talking about the kids B-day.

Then she asks if I can sew on a few of the patches that she has for the kids Gi's. Sure, I say, I've sewn thousands of patches on. Scouts etc. How many patches?, I says. Oh, maybe 5, maybe 10. She says. Not a problem, bring them over I'll throw them on the machine, I'll have them done in no time. I says.

You know where this is going right?

She brings this bag of patches. I have no idea how many are in there. More than 5? Yes. More than 10? Oh yes.

But it gets better.

I have to remove several existing patches before I can put new patches on. Not too many, maybe 5. I have a seam ripper that makes quick work of this process. No biggie.

Then I sew 3 patches on with my sewing machine. Because I cannot get those small legs and sleeves on my machine I will have to sew the rest of them on by hand. At this point I let HGH know that she WILL be helping me sew these patches on. She is extremely busy when she comes to my house. She always brings her laundry over so that needs to be done and folded and whatnot. She also needs to rummage through my fridge, the fridge in the garage and feed her kids every 5 minutes.

I grab her on one of her happy trips past me and hand her a needle, a spool of thread and tiny scissors.

HGH: Oh dear. You're going to have to give me a few pointers here.
me: (this is not rocket science here folks.) Well, you're going to cut a length of thread. Put the thread through the hole of the needle. And then sew the patch where you want it.
HGH: I've never sewn anything before!
me: You're joking! You've never darned socks? Patched a hole?
HGH: No.
me: You've never threaded a needle before?
HGH: No.
me: Incredible! (she's about 40)
HGH: I know but it's true. I never took sewing in school. While all the other girls were in Home Ec, I was taking AP classes on Biology and such.
me: What! Smart people don't know how to thread a needle and sew a patch on!

The answer would be no. She forgot to knot the end and ended up having to re-thread that needle 3 times. For the record, I don't believe for a minute that she took a single AP class and I wonder if she even knows what AP stands for. Also for the record prior to being married she was a bartender for Cooks Corner and a manicurist. Not that any of these professions are for uneducated people, I'm not saying that, (and I am a licensed manicurist as well) I'm just saying, all those AP courses got her into positions that don't require higher learning. College? Uh, that would be no, she didn't. They were too poor, she says. Again I wonder, poor, smart people don't darn their clothes? I'm just asking.

And the winner is. . . . .

me: 18 patches
HGH: 1 patch

Oh and at one point she told her hubby that she would be in there in a minute to rub lotion on his feet! I know!

me: Oh no you don't! You can rub lotion on his feet anytime, WE are sewing patches on right now!
HGH: Sorry honey, this is important, we need to do this.

One more thing then I'm letting this drop.

HGH brought over a movie to watch. BH is not a huge movie watcher but when she mentioned the new Pink Panther with Steve Martin I was all over it. I plugged it into my little DVD player and watched while we (and I use that term lightly) sewed. Smack in the middle of the movie little granddaughter popped the movie out of the player, my player! To which I exclaimed "Whoa, what are you doing? I was watching that!" to which HGH explained 'oh, she didn't know you were still watching it.' I've had enough with this rude bunch and it's a shame they encourage this behavior with their young kids. So you know I had to say, 'yes she did' (it's sitting right in front of me and I'm laughing at it and obviously enjoying the movie) 'and that's not very nice of you to shut it off while I'm sewing patches on your Gi.' To which she said, 'honey, what do we say?' 'sorry' little hgh sniffles. Then, oh yes, then the little hgh starts to cry. Cry! Big loud sniffles and huge tears. To which HGH had to take her in another room to calm her down. CALM HER DOWN! Dad and pops had to peak around the corner to find out what was wrong with the child.

HGH: She was upset, you hurt her feelings. We don't like to guilt our children like that.

I know.

I just let it go. What on earth could I possibly say? What?