Time out!

I was bad.

Very bad. I needed a time out.

I had such a bad attitude that I sent myself to bed without supper.

It's ok. I had a little stash of beef jerky that youngest made the other day.

First I'll say that I had a great weekend. Yeah. I did.

Saturday am we went to a Civil War re-enactment. We have friends that 'play' President Jefferson Davis and his wife Varina. They are soooo into it. They set up this cool tent with neat stuff in it. Varina has a huge pitcher of ice tea 'to relieve the troops when they come'. This time they lined a road in the park they called the something river. I forget now. And everyone comes by and talks like they lived back then, saying stuff like 'those damn Yankees' and stuff. I'd love to dress up. Have I ever told you what BH wants to do? No? Another time. It's hysterical and I refuse to do it.

So then we are done there. BH's son (the houseguests from hell, remember them?) says he'd like to spend the night. BH asks, I say sure. I didn't think I needed to remind him to tell them not to bring their dog.

Ah huh. They did. They brought the dog. Yep. So I see the dog and, well, it's too late. They take the dog out. Son says 'WOW! She really had to go! Look at the size of it!' So I don't need a blow by blow of their dogs bowl movement but at least she's going. In the back yard. It's good right? So I say to her. 'Please just keep an eye on her so she doesn't go on the carpet again.' 'Oh no problem' yells son 'she gone both. She's empty now hoo boy!'

Yeah.

You know she did.

BH yells 'She peed on the carpet!'

Son yells 'No way, no way it was her. She just went.

I say quietly 'well Maya's locked up and Frank is upstairs'

So then, oh wait, let me tell you this first. She says to me, 'Would you like to go to church with us tomorrow?' I say, 'Where are you going?' (remember they live an hour away) She points sweetly to the living room, 'There, right there in your living room.' I say 'Oh.' I say oh a few more times. There are a lot of reasons why this is so so so wrong. I can't begin to tell you. Ok, I will, first, son is a Calvary Chapelite and rides BH continually about his beliefs. BH believes in UFO's and evolution. Need I say more. Ok, one more, we're 'living in sin'. Right. So I'm thinkin son is going to stand on his soapbox and 'preach' to his daddy. Sound like fun? No, I didn't think so either.

Then there's this thing with the battleship game. You remember battleship? Great game! You use these little pegs and sink your opponents boats. Right? You remember? So son is playing with grandson (his son) and says 'dang, I just can't find his little boat' He asks me to check out where the little boat is and make sure he doesn't move it. That. Should have been my first clue that things were going to go south. But I am clueless so I do, check where the boat is. It's horizontal. I look at grandson and tell him I know exactly where it is so don't move it. He looks offended.

Of course he did! He moved it! When I caught him he denies it so loudly that I think he' gonna throw himself on the floor.

BH tells me to drop it.

I get mad. How can I say anything? First of all, it's just a game. I shouldn't have said anything but the boy pitched such a fit that I felt like an ass. So I quietly take myself upstairs without a word to anyone. BH comes up and I let him have it, poor man.

I say 'How is it that he can call me a lier, which I'm not, but I can't call him a cheater, which he is! AND a lier too! And I thought you told them they couldn't bring that damn dog again! Huh! And another thing, SHE wants to have CHURCH in our living room and THAT is not going to happen! Oh wait, I forgot, I'm going to my folks tomorrow. Enjoy the service! (I had planned for a week to go see my folks, it wasn't just decided, although that is not a bad idea)

I'm pissed. When I come unglued it's best to just ride it out. I don't yell, never been a yeller, but you can't get a word in. Just walk away. In fact it wont really matter if you walk away because I'm still going and wont even notice. It's embarrassing, it's what I do. I know, who's the 8 year old now.

He doesn't say a word. He turns to leave and I turn to the mirror. I'd been getting ready for bed and forgot I was naked. Maybe that's why he didn't say anything.

From now on, when he gets mad, I'm takin all my clothes off.

It's brilliant, dontcha think?

Oh and then I go to my folks on Sunday. Champagne brunch at Don Jose. Then we, mom and I sit in their new hot tub for 4 hours! 4 hours! All the while dad is bringing us Margaritas. Yep. Grand time.

Then I get home, rather late, and they, are still there. I sit around for a few minutes and go put myself to bed.

There's more about them. I just don't want to think about it any more.