"THE PROCEDURE"

So last Thursday I had my bilateral biopsy. Other than being incredibly long (4 1/2 hours) it was mostly painless and uneventful.

My nurse was wonderful and walked me through it every step of the way. She asked me if I was nervous, I said no, I lied. I expected it to be painful and uncomfortable but knew it couldn't be worse than giving birth.

After changing into the ever so cute oversized pink blouse with no buttons and many ties that are not in the right places to be of any use I am ushered into the procedure room. Now there is this very narrow red padded table with a hole in it. Yep, that is where it goes. In the hole. And it hangs down and they raise you up like a car in the shop and they work under you, just like a car in the shop.

Then they make you stay very still while they take a dimensional Xray of your breast so that they know exactly where to take the sample. Then they numb you up with a novacaine type medication. This was the only painful part. While they were doing the extraction I was forwarned that you may not feel pain but you may feel the sensation of pulling, tugging and perhaps a little burning. Nothing, nada, zip. After being in one place, not moving, for so long I was stiff and my hand fell asleep.

Then the fun part. They placed butterfly type suture bandages over the wounds. I was told they may bleed a little. They did. Then she placed large gauze pads over that and placed a large piece of tape (like 4"x4") over that. Then they wraped me up like a mummy in a huge ace bandage. I did not think I could put my bra on but she said I would need to put the ice packs in the cups. As big as I am the ice packs are bigger. Folded in half they stuck out with sharp goofy points after I put my blouse back on. She told me to keep the wrap on for 24 hours, no shower, then after that I could change the gauze and put a sport bra on. Keep the ice on for the rest of the day. She explained that I would be a little sore and feel some tenderness for a few day.

She was wrong. I was way beyond sore and tender. I felt like my boobs were on fire. They hurt so bad. I just went to bed and moaned all night.

The next morning I was sore and tender. And itchy.

I was asked if I was allergic to tape or bandages or latex. I said no. As it turns out, I am allergic to tape, bandages or whatever. I was going to scratch my boobs off so I took off the large tape holding the gauze on. It was red everywhere the tape was. Much better off.

I am still trying to scratch my boobs off.

I need to take off the suture tapes. Fast. Now I have huge ooozy blisters where the suture tapes are. They are much worse then the incision.

Today my incisions are very healed up. The blisters are getting better and starting to scab up.

Today I go back and talk to the doctor. I should get the results from the biopsy today. I hope.