BH is a little fussy about his trash. Everythings gotta be in bags. EVERYTHING. You don't just throw things in the outside bin. You must first make sure it's in a bag. With the drawstrings tightly pulled. NO LOOSE TRASH IN THE BIN! Why yes, he has removed trash from the bin to place it in a bag. How'd you know? I wouldn't go so far as to say you could eat out of our trash cans but you could dumpster dive them without getting dirty, is what I'm saying. By far he has the nicest trash I've ever seen. He is quite proud to announce to anyone questioning his anal trash habits that the trash man has complimented him on how clean his trash is.
Don't laugh, it's important to him.
As a rule, I take care of the trash in the house. I empty AND clean the inside cans. You could eat out of our inside cans that's how clean they are. Come to think of it I have on occasion cleaned an outside bin with pinesol when they get to stinkin. I guess we're both a little kookoo about trash. Anyhoodle we had a nice kitchen trash can. That's where all the gross trash happens. It had a flip top that always drove me nuts. It'd get a little full and then get caught on trash and then goobers would get all over the top and the flap and I'd have to wash it and it was round and huge and wouldn't fit in the sink and would get water all over the floor and then I'd have to mop the floor, whew! I guess it wasn't such a nice can after all. But it was big and roomy and I liked it. Except for the lid. I'd have taken that lid off and pitched it. But NOOOOOO, BH insists that the lid keeps the odors in and NOBODY wants to see the trash. Until that fateful day when the lid. Finally. Broke.
The can was still good so off it went to be an outside can for recycling. But what to do? We immediatly began a search for the 'perfect' kitchen receptical. Wallyworld was the first choice but nothing there would satisfy our trash fetish.
Then we went to Costco! And found this
Is that beautiful or is that beautiful? Huh? I ask you!You step on the little lever and it opens. You drop your trash in and it slowly closes. We all gathered around it, each opening it and closing it. OOO'ing and ah'ing. We scurried around the house looking for little things to pick up and rushing over to the can to drop it in. Whisper quiet it closes and then 'poof!' all you see is your reflection in the shiny chrome finish.
It's a beautiful thing!
And then. We start hearing this noise.
Where's it coming from? It starts and stops. It's a moaning noise. Almost human. For days we wonder. WHAT IS THAT NOISE?
It's the trash can.
It is. We didn't notice it at first because after dropping the trash in we take off in another direction. We didn't notice the noise until we were say, in front of the fridge or sink or whatever. When the TV is on or the dishwasher is on the noise was so faint we didn't notice it.
But there it is. The trash can. Makin noise. We pull the inside can out and oil the. . whatever they are, inside the can. We oil everything that we think will move and things that wont move. It's not a complicated contraption. And. . . quiet. It's quiet. For a few days and then. There it is again!
We've tried everything, WD-40, graphite, axel greese. Everything works, for a few days.
Ddunkie finally gets fed up, grabs the can and hauls it outside to give it his best try.
DD: There! That did it. It doesn't groan now.
me: Sure it's quiet now. It's always quiet at first. Give her a couple of days. You'll see.
DD: No, I got it, no way it's gonna make noise now.
It is quiet. Really quiet. I think he's done it. I'm a little sad now because I like the sound. I sing to her 'oh Moana, whoa whoa whoa whoa' I'm missing it already. I had meant to record it and now I've lost my chance.
And then. . . .
There is no stoppin her.
Play it again and sing with me. . OOOO Moana! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
1 comment:
Moana doesn't do that thing when nobody is depositing garbage does she? It looks like she could double as a trash compacter.
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